there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
