Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
