i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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