I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
