yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
