He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
