i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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