he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
