Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's always time for handjobs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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