oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
