Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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