I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
