Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
