There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
