and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
third nipple confirmed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
