I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My bed smells like the plague
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
