I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
