Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
