yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
