Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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