WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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