is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
