is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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