I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
