You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
