maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
