A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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