Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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