Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize