just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
