nut hugger
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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