A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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