She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
