So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
