So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
