shes about as inviting as chlamydia
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize