my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
