Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
