i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
