Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
