he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
