Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
