I got chris browned last night
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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