did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
