new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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