I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
