Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
