i can't believe i had my finger in that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
