Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
