awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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