So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize