Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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