Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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