Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize