I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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