i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
