So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you traded sex for a burrito?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
