Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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