i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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