I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
