Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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