ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
