that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize