I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
