What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
they're like a gay fantastic four
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
