Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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