I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
