it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
