I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize